*Disassemble, Stephanie. Disassemble.

QOTD: "It seemed to me they based some of their decisions on the word of -- and the allegations -- by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble -- that means not tell the truth." --W

LOTD: PostSecret

*5 points to the first person to place the reference. 5 points to Ian for coming up with it (And disqualifying him from getting the other 5 points).

Memorial Day

You know who you are,
Thank you.



LOTD: Memorial Day
QOTD from a bumper sticker: "I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you!"

The Riots of the Faithful

The Riots of the Faithful - The Ornery American: Orson Scott Card on the "uncorroborated allegation about American interrogators flushing Qurans down the toilet in order to get fanatical Muslim prisoners to talk..."

If you like Card's work, take a look at this article. It certainly made me think twice about him. I couldn't pick out a good quote to paste in... You kind of have to read the whole thing to get the full impact.

Postcard!!

I got a postcard from my brother. He's in Paris. Ok, well he was when the postcard was sent. So cool. :) -j.

Just Finished: Just a Geek by Wil Wheaton - Geektastic. I laughed... I cried... I geeked out. It's a quick, fun read.
Up Next: The Art of War by Sun Tzu - My boss told me to read it. I guess I should start listening to him.

Office Shenanigans and the Delinquent Bear

While I was at work today, there were some guys working on the new secure room which is straight down the hall from my office. As I was working, out of the corner of my eye, I see a gargantuan person. Now, I know Ian is tall, but this person's head was inches from the ceiling. It looked like he was going to bump his head, not on the doorframe, but on the ceiling. Which is why I had to turn and look to see what was going on. They were putting up some reinforcements in the ceiling so people wouldn't be able to break into that space from above. In any case, when I looked over, I saw that they didn't hire a giant to do this one task. They gave an average, everyday shorty a pair of stilts. It was like the circus had come to work. They even had someone sitting in a chair in the middle of the hallway to supervise in case he needed help or fell over or something. At least that's what I assume she was doing.

Then, on my way home from work, I saw a handful of police cars. One of these troopers I saw flying past me in the separated HOV lanes and I swear he had arrested a teddy bear. I only had a few seconds to look, and there's no way I could have caught up to him without bringing attention to myself (though, with the barrier, what could he really do?), but I saw a stuffed animal situated in the back of the car such that it was looking out the window. It was probably sitting on the armrest of the door or something. But... why?

In other news, Va. Won't Pay for Viagra For Violent Sex Offenders:

"Gov. Mark R. Warner (D) signed an emergency order Thursday that prohibits the Virginia Medicaid program from paying the costs of Viagra and other prescription erectile dysfunction drugs for 52 men registered as violent sex offenders."

On the one hand, I'm appalled that this happened. On the other hand, I can understand, with the number of different organizations this information would have to come from, how this could have gone without consideration. Glad they're being quick about doing something about it. And, yes... It should apply for all sex offenders, not just the violent ones. I guess unless they have shown that they have reformed. Opinions?

LOTD: Gumwall -- Is it art? Is it vandalism? One thing's for sure: It's gross.

QOTD (totally out of context, of course...): "You look 100..." -GWB to a healthy-looking 70-year-old woman (1:50-2:25)

20M licensed drivers may lack basic safety knowledge

Study: 20M licensed drivers may lack basic safety knowledge - May 27, 2005: "According to the study, many drivers find basic practices, such as merging and interpreting road signs, difficult.

For instance, one out of five drivers doesn't know that a pedestrian in a crosswalk has the right of way, and one out of three drivers speeds up to make a yellow light, even when pedestrians are present, the study said."

"Bottom five states for driver knowledge:
1. Rhode Island
2. Massachusetts
3. New Jersey
4. New York
5. Washington D.C."

I guess you need to conduct a scientific study to reliably show something, but this all sounds consistent with anecdotal evidence. I'm kind of surprised California isn't in the top five because of LA though and that Rhode Island is, but the rest is pretty expected. I guess the size of California would even their numbers out. In any case, safety first. :) -j.

Life update

FYI, I may be looking for a new job in the near-ish future. Yeah, I know... I've been "looking" for a new job for like the last 6 months. This time, I actually mean it. Chances are pretty good I'll stay where I am. But for my own growth, I think I need to update my resume a bit and poke around some. I was thinking about this on my 75-minute drive home today (left the office at 7:15pm. Why was there still traffic?), and realized that I know someone who's a somebody at almost every big company in my industry in this area. And yet, I'm still debating whether this is what I want to do.

Career ideas welcome. Things I have rejected so far: joining the circus and tech support. Everything else is fair game. Thanks! :) -J.

Stupid spams and the stupid spammers who send them

I am on a certain email distribution as a representative for my family. As such, I receive these emails and forward as relevant to our situation. This list consists of 261 email addresses (yeah, I tallied it up today). Proper etiquette would dictate that a list this size should be used for its intended purpose and for nothing else: Disseminate relevant information, not jokes, feel-good forwards, or support for your personal agenda (i.e. "Don't watch the news. It will make you sad."). Common sense would also tell you that, instead of sending emails by CCing everyone, you should BCC them so when the stupid people on the list get viruses, they don't get sent out to everyone.

I have asked the moderators of this list on numerous occasions to do this. I explained spam and viruses. I even chose an opportune time to send one email after they had to send out notifications to people about a virus that had previously been sent out. Then, after letting me know that they weren't as computer-savvy (huh... I would never have guessed) as they "used to be" (wow... that is surprising), I sent detailed instructions on how to select BCC. Still, they apparently don't think this is important.

Now, there have been a couple occasions where they asked for feedback and, surprise surprise, people clicked "reply-to-all" and a discussion ensues for the rest of the day. And for people who don't obsessively check their email all day long, they come home to find a couple dozen emails from this list. Yay.

After the last debacle, they sent an email to someone asking her not to reply to all and that there were some people who were not interested in receiving all these emails. All of which could have easily been prevented if they would just not send everyone's email out with each announcement. But no. Yell at other people for doing what they want when you just as easily go along doing what you want.

Today (yes, of course something happened today to get me all riled up again), we receive an email from someone upset about something and wanting input from others. The replies come rolling in... For the next seven hours. At which point, there's a reply from those in charge, obviously agitated that this person had sent out unauthorized information, which may or may not have been skewed by her personal opinions.

They are, again, upset that people are sending out information that doesn't go through them first. They are, again, having to send out disclaimers and clarification because people are getting worked up about the previous email and they're getting the brunt of it. They are, again, at fault because they let this distribution list get out by sending it to everyone each time they had an announcement. Honestly, people. What did you expect to happen?

EDIT: I am so pleased to announce that as of the last email, they have finally figured out that difficult BCC function. She was unable to do it before because it wasn't available as an option for her email. But when she uses aol.com, which "must have a more up to date version," she can do it. She also received a virus in her email today. Surprise. I think this debacle has made them appreciate the reach of that mailing list. Too bad no one ever listens to me... ;) -Less Than Nothing

LOTD: Ask the Pope (May be blasphemous to some.)

Weekend

Saturday, went over to the parents' place for a "party" in celebration of Lenny's graduation. There was a less than entertaining family fight. Not as spirited as usual, but, again, like Thanksgiving, it may have been because the whole family wasn't together. In any case, there was lots of food and quantity family time.

Afterward, went with Yenny, Lenny, Ian, and Squidgey to see Unleashed. Weird movie. Good, but strange. Hung out with Ian for a bit after and watched last week's Numb3rs. Happened to see this article in the Post today. Yay math! Finished reading Cat's Cradle. Also strange. Very cool though. Haha cool... I didn't even mean it like that, but now I wish I had.

Anyway, Sunday started Just a Geek and hung out with Ian and his family for dinner. Listened to The Big Broadcast for a little while after dinner and then headed back. A pretty lazy Sunday overall.

QOTD: "As a youngster Lenny was an avid soccer player, now he just takes advantage of the youth at church." Uhh...

LsOTD from Squidgey: puppywar and kittenwar

Emergency Petition to Save the Courts

Emergency Petition to Save the Courts:

This Tuesday, the Senate will vote on Republican Leader Bill Frist's "nuclear option" to break the rules of the Senate and give the Republican Party absolute control over appointing federal judges.

For 200 years the minority's right to filibuster has kept our courts fair, by making sure that federal judges needed to get at least some support from both sides of the aisle before they were given life time appointments.

If Frist eliminates the filibuster, his next step would be to force far right partisan judges onto the powerful U.S. Courts of Appeals. The real targets, however, are the four seats on the Supreme Court likely to become vacant in the next four years.

With that much power on the Supreme Court, the far right could strike down decades of progress on labor rights, environmental protections, reproductive rights, and privacy.

Star Wars sparks US political storm

Star Wars sparks US political storm:

"The new Star Wars film is causing a political storm in the United States, with one group calling for a boycott of the film, which they say is unpatriotic.

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith includes a scene in which Darth Vader tells his former mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi that he is either with him or against him.

Some US activists are comparing Darth Vader's actions to those of President George W Bush in persuading legislators to adopt the Patriot Act."

Cake adventure

Baked a cake for Lenny's graduation celebration thing today. Went for a strawberries and cream cake (without the cream part), a strawberry whipped topping, and blackberries on top.

Now, for the adventure part... I will start closer to the beginning of my day. Went to Bombay Bistro for lunch with my family and Lenny's gf. After that, we parted ways and planned to meet back up to go over to the ceremony together. Went with Yenny to Wegman's to get free groceries and cake supplies. I had originally planned to bake cupcakes so I could decorate beforehand, but later realized that would defeat the purpose since my grandmother only likes the non-edge pieces of cake and a cupcake would essentially be all edge. Anyway, got stuff, went home, took nap.

Went to Lenny's graduation. Congressman Wolf spoke. Apparently, he uses the same speech for all the graduations at which he speaks. Kind of expected, but kind of funny since he also spoke at Lenny's girl's graduation a few years ago. Anyway, hung out for a little after for the reception and to take pictures. Then, off to acquire a house for my sister.

9pm: Realized that I needed a mixer to make a cake. Yeah, I know... You'd think with all the baking I do, I would have these kinds of supplies. You would be wrong. In any case, Yenny needed to go over to Squidgey's mom's office to get her paperwork done.

11pm: Borrow a mixer from Squidgey's mom. She's looking around for her mixer and the two beaters that attach to it... Finds the body of it, but only one of the beaters. She also offers me a hand blender doober. Well, that will have to do...

12am: Get home, get started mixing together ingredients. Start spraying things everywhere with the super-powered one-beater mixer (Ok, not really... It was all contained within the bowl, but only because the bowl had tall sides.). Apparently, the balance that is achieved from using two beaters in a standard mixer is for a reason and the power supplied is distributed evenly between the two such that there are different speeds available for use. Because I was missing that second beater, I had to stick with the lowest setting and only used it briefly so as to avoid making a mess. It did what I needed it to though, so that was good.

12:30am: Remember that the recipe is for a 3-layer round cake. I didn't even think about the conversion to a rectangular pan until I was almost done with the batter and saw how much there was. Call my sister in a hurry and she came over with her cake pan so I could make two cakes (Yeah, I only have one cake pan as well. I just bought three 8-inch rounds 2 weeks ago, but they're at Ian's.). This resulted in 2 thin cakes, but they're about the right size for a layer cake. Unfortunately, I am not making a layer cake.

Also, frozen strawberries should be thawed before use. Yeah, S-M-R-T.

LOTD: baby wear
QOTD by the mean guy at the Uptown: "I know every cop on the beat."

Strawberries and Cream Cake

INGREDIENTS:
* 2 3/4 cups cake flour
* 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
* 2 cups white sugar
* 1 (3 ounce) package strawberry flavored gelatin
* 1 cup butter, softened
* 4 eggs
* 1 cup milk
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1/2 cup strawberries, pureed

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour three 9 inch round cake pans.
2. In a large bowl, beat sugar, gelatin and butter until fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well with each addition. Mix flour and baking powder, and beat alternately with the milk into the sugar mixture. Fold in 1 teaspoon vanilla and pureed strawberries. Divide equally into three 9 inch round cake pans.
3. Bake 25 minutes in the preheated oven, or until toothpick inserted into cake comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes in the pans, then remove from pans and cool completely.

Note: Makes 2-layer half-sheet cake or a tall half-sheet cake.

Cool Whipped Frosting

Ingredients:
1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
1 (3.5 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:
1. In a medium bowl, combine pudding mix with milk and vanilla. Mix until smooth. Gently fold in whipped topping until no streaks remain. Spread evenly over cake.

Notes: Used strawberry flavor whipped topping (seasonal).

Star Wars Spoiler and Aaron Dugo Update

Went out after work to catch Star Wars at the Uptown with Ian, Mindless, and a bunch of his WestWing Gang with others. Definitely better than the last two. There was a fair share of cheesy lines, especially in the scenes attempting to be romantic, but I think the good parts outweighed them.

*Spoilers*
Anakin turns to the Dark Side.
Padme got knocked up. *shocking*
Yoda kicks butt.
*End Spoilers*

And in other news, I got home to an email waiting for me... In response to this entry that the person found through Google, of course:

(Caution: There are some pictures on there that may not be suitable for some people at work.)
Aaron Dugo on a Friendster-type service.

Granted, that's not actually him (I can only assume). But someone is doing a good job of advertising for him. And news to me: "He has a May 23rd court date." Yes, folks. That's Monday. Someone go hang out in court that day and find out how things go? Thanks. :)

QOTD from May 4 Washington Post Corrections: "Articles on April 25 and 26 about Pope Benedict XVI said that St. Peter was the founder of the Roman Catholic Church. According to the church, Jesus was the founder."

LOTD from an NPR story last week: Typology Test Results -- Go figure... I came out a liberal.

All caught up

I'm actually keeping up with one of my New Year's Resolutions! This is cool. Just finished The Bonesetter's Daughter for book club next month. Back to reading Cat's Cradle now. That's book #6 so far and I also have Just a Geek lined up after that. Picked it up from the library today. Off I go!

QOTD via email:
"Name
Date of birth
Security Clearance
Nationality
Mail/Femail"

LOTD stolen from VHMPrincess -- Ok, so I took this twice... The first time, I came out with Gluttony at 80% and died from diabetic coma. But the second one, I had to share:

Your Deadly Sins

Gluttony: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Wrath: 20%

Envy: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You'll die choking on a cookie in bed.

How Sinful Are You?

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

This has been a weird week so far. Well, mostly stuff that happened last week, but I'm finding out about it/details today. Good news/Bad news kind of day. Former coworker got engaged. Former [college] classmate got engaged. Current coworker had "stress-related heart pains", but is recovering well. Relative of a friend in a serious accident. Relative of a friend of a relative died this weekend.

In other news, my big brother and my roommate graduate this Friday. Congrats!

In other other news, my #2 big brother got booted from Ultimate Blogger. See that? That was me not linking them. So there.

GG Season Finale tonight: (Don't worry. No spoilers) :O, *grumble*, aww, yay!, haha, what?!, grr, :O

And to close, some fluff... because we all need some fluff every now and then.

LOTD: Check out your Pink Profile (I am a bikini.)

Gentle Reminder

Heya all,
Just a reminder that the Race for the Cure is in 2.5 weeks. Thank you to all the people who already contributed. (I have collected $220 so far!) I appreciate it very much. Anyone else who was interested in making a contribution, this is your chance. Thanks in advance! :) -j.

Weekend recap

Friday -- Went out after work to meet up with Roy and his new girl. Ate at Bistro Bistro in Shirlington where they found mystery meat in the only non-meat dish on the menu and Ian and I had really sub-par Caesar salads. Mostly, the dressing was lacking. That would have made up for a lot, but the rest was pretty mediocre too. After that, headed across the street to Maggie Moo's and then to some sports bar/club/disco place in Clarendon. It was... different. Hung out there for most of the rest of the evening and people watched, then headed home.

Saturday -- Ran some errands in the morning and took my weekly trip to Wegman's. I finally broke down and bought a set of measuring spoons. Turns out my standard estimates with whatever spoon I find in the house is pretty accurate according to this set of measuring spoons.

Got home and finally saw the neighbor whose assigned parking spot is next to mine. She always parks crooked, ending up either on the line or partly in my space, even though her space is bigger than the rest of the parking spaces because hers is on the end and she has extra curb space in addition to the standard asphalt area. Squidgey and I ended up going outside to be intimidating because she came so close to hitting my car on her first 4 tries parking. Attempts 5-7 were barely better. She started catching on by attempt #8 and was able to straighten out a little. Then she finally decided that attempt 9 was acceptable enough to get out. After my sis and Squidgey left and I went back inside, she came back out for attempt #10, which wasn't much different from #9, but seemed to be more satisfactory to her. Apparently she needed to park without the pressure of spectators.

Anyway, then for the Cookie Fiasco. I attempted to make some oatmeal scotchies to take to a bbq that Jenn and Blake were throwing (they're very nice). It started off with the recipe calling for the oven to be set at 375 degrees. That seemed odd to me, but since I've used the recipe on the bag before, I figured it was the same and it'd be fine.

The first tray came out stuck to the try with the edges caramelized, while the middle hadn't quite settled yet. So, I thought maybe I would turn down the heat and they would be able to stay in for the requisite amount of time. Second tray, slightly less bad. They still came out really thin and crumbly. There were empty spots in the cookies, but at least they were cooked evenly. Third tray, I shaped them so they were little towers of dough so maybe they would spread less while they baked. Didn't help. Fourth tray, I took out early and let them settle, but they still didn't look like they were completely cooked, so I put them back in for two minutes with tray 5. Those came out with the best consistency, but they were still thinner and crumblier than normal. Tray 5 was about the same as 2 and 3.

So, I collect the cookies from the fourth tray along with some of the less offensive cookies from 2, 3, and 5 and put them in a container to bring to the bbq. I leave the lid on the container a little loose so the heat wouldn't get trapped in and make them stick together or get soggy. I, of course, then put the container down just long enough to knock the cookies onto the floor. Crumbling cookies spread out across the floor. Wonderful. I'm only running half an hour late at this point. Collect up all the salvageable cookies that didn't fall out of the box and transfer them to a new container. Pick up the rest of the floor cookies and sweep up. Put together a new box of passable cookies. Fortunately, through all of this, despite what the creation looked like, they still tasted like cookies.

Got my act together, picked up Ian, and off to the party. They had some excellent pulled pork and numerous side dishes that various people brought. I don't even know how many people ended up showing up... maybe a dozen or two throughout the day. Had to head inside when the thunderstorm rolled in, but stayed for a while after that. Met a few new people... talked to a few others who I never actually met. TLD got to tell people the story of my missed connection with the urination lady. (Urination lady... you're so crazy...) There was also some discussion of how horrible Dan Brown books are, Ian's differently opinioned grandmother, and some Turrettes-like outbursts. It was a fun time.

After that, headed over to the HOY for Matt's birthday extravaganza. By the time I got over there, I hadn't eaten anything but cookies for the past few hours, so I tried my best at the drinking thing with a mostly empty stomach. I was told I was a little red and I got really sleepy. I tried... Everyone else had a considerable head start on me though, so oh well. Matt got Star Wars Trivial Pursuit, so we attempted to play that. Somehow Squidgey and I got paired together and we finally resorted to answering JarJar Binks for every question. Surprisingly, we did not get many questions right. The game started to go downhill when everyone started cheating against Matt, Eepie fell asleep, and Squidgey and I got distracted by video games. Then there was Bracken's nipple discussion in the kitchen and John getting kicked in the box, but other than that, it was a pretty calm night. The rest of the evening was spent mostly playing video games.

Sunday -- laundry, dishes, reading, nap, yard work, talking to you.

QOTD: "Live this day! Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow is only a vision, but today well-lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Never agonize over the past or worry over the future. Live this day and live it well." -Francis Gray

LOTD from Ian... my primary source for gossip: Breakup News -- Take pleasure in knowing that you are not as miserable as these people.

Nestle's Oatmeal Scotchies
1 1/4 cups unsifted flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 cups Old-Fashioned Quaker oats
1 cup (18.333 ounces) Nestle Toll House butterscotch-flavored morsels

Yield: 4 dozen cookies or bars

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
2. Combine flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in a small bowl; set aside.
3. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar, eggs, and vanilla extract in a large bowl.
4. Gradually beat in flour mixture.
5. Stir in oats and morsels.
6. Drop by rounded Tablespoonfuls onto an ungreased baking sheet.
7. Bake 7 to 8 minutes for chewy cookies, 9 to 10 minutes for crisp cookies.
8. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes, remove to wire racks to cool completely.

9. Pan Cookie Variation: Grease 15x10-inch jelly-roll pan.
10. Prepare dough as above.
11. Spread in prepared pan.
12. Bake for 18 to 22 minutes or until lightly browned.
13. Cool completely in pan on wire rack.

Notes: I would recommend 350 degrees since the chips can't handle that high a heat and teaspoonfuls since these cookies spread a lot.

The Ultimate Blogger

Sonny's latest post: "Meet Jane"

Hilarious entry. Go read it. Especially, you, parents. He says hi.

LOTD: World Fair Trade Day 2005

QOTD:
"Hey, I didn't know they offered beeyotch classes here... what do they even teach?"
"That's not beeyotch. That's biotech.

Drinking with Dr. JAWS

After work last night, went and got drinks with a couple of coworkers and did the whole talking to humans thing. After some discussion about work, baseball, real estate, and traffic, I headed off into some traffic of my own. I was trying to get to my massage appointment, for which my sister so generously gave me a gift certificate. I however, showed up 40 minutes late because I sat in construction traffic for an hour to go two miles. Fortunately, the masseur was running late and didn't finish until about 10 minutes before I got there and [said] he didn't mind waiting.

Part II: Urination Lady

After that, went to go pick up a pizza for dinner. With all the traffic and everything, it was getting kind of late at this point... It was about 9:45 by the time I got to Papa John's. Fifteen minutes before they stop doing carry-out, so I got there just in time. The parking lot was deserted, but there were still a few restaurants and a grocery store open along that same strip. As I parked and went up to pick up my pizza, a couple of delivery drivers get back to do their thing.

I go inside and it's the usual crew (Am I eating pizza too often if I recognize the people working there?). I tell them what I ordered and the guy runs my credit card and hands me my pizza. Total time inside: approximately 4 minutes. I go outside and head toward my car and notice a large SUV parked next to me. That's odd... Of all the places to park in this empty lot, these people chose right next to my car? Oh well. People are dumb. Then I notice that the driver's side door is open. They're parked facing the opposite direction as me, so their driver's side is adjacent to mine. The passenger of the other car tells the driver to hurry up. Hurry up? Oh, yeah... there's the driver. Behind the open door. I didn't notice her before.

La la la... Go around to the passenger side to put the pizza on the passenger seat and walk around the car. At this point, the other car's passenger is getting a bit of urgency in her voice telling the driver to hurry up. "That lady wants to get into her car." I figure if they're not going to be considerate enough to close their door so I can get to my car, I can at least go around and get in. Oh, but no...

There was a point before I had gotten around the front of my car when I still couldn't see the driver. It didn't even occur to me to consider what this person was doing. Was she vandalizing my car? Was she getting her wallet in order to pick up her own pizza? Was she using my car as a shield so she could pee on the asphalt?

I'd like to say that I had thought to look at her license plate or get a description of her, but unfortunately I have nothing solid to pass on to you, dear readers. I have nothing else to make fun of. What I did see, I find more traumatizing than humorous. I walked around my car just in time to see this woman pull up her gigantic floral-print elastic pants over her pasty, cellulite-ridden derriere. I have no idea what she looks like, even how tall she is or what color hair she had. But I do have this image ingrained in my memory now. That is why I share this with you today.

Now, for the analysis. Why? Why? Why?

Driving along... and you feel an urgent need to urinate. What do you do?
Option 1: Pull over and find a bathroom. There are many public places still open. Try a grocery store, a restaurant, a fast-food joint, or a convenience store. All of which were available within that same stretch of parking lot.

No, can't do that. It would take too much time.

Ok, Option 2: Park far away from the one other car in the parking lot and pull up next to one of the many trees or bushes that line the empty parking lot and use those as a shield.

No. Animals pee on bushes. And they don't provide enough cover. Someone driving by might see me through the bushes. I can't do that.

Option 3: Park next to the one car in the lot, right in front of a carry-out/delivery pizza place, and hope no one will see you while you take 10 minutes to get out, make sure you are sufficiently hidden, and pee.

Yeah, yeah. That's a good idea.

Lady, you're worse than an animal. At least they urinate somewhere where their urine can be absorbed into the ground. At least that becomes fertilizer to continue nature's cycle. At least they mark their territory for a reason. My car is not your territory and I would like it to go unmarked, thank you.

I hope you peed on yourself and your car when you were trying to hurry away from me.

Speechless

If you were in a situation where your need to discharge of bodily fluids was urgent, what would you do?
Go find a bathroom
Pull into an empty parking lot, bordered by trees and bushes and use the far corner
Pull into a mostly empty parking lot and park as far away as possible from other cars
Pull into a mostly empty parking lot and park next to my car and show me your ugly butt, while trying to hide the fact that you are desecrating the ground on which both our cars are parked
Current results

Yes, there will be a story to follow. Until then, check out these new bikes. Kids these days... they'll never learn anything if people continue to coddle them like this.

LOTD: No training wheels needed

QOTD Carolyn Hax about arguing with people who disagree with you:

She: "Retired space monkeys harvest the beans." You, unless you have certain knowledge to the contrary: "Really? I hadn't heard that." And when you do have knowledge: "The farm I work on doesn't use space monkeys, but maybe it's the exception."

They're not "wrong"... They're just stupid.

Birthday

Happy birthday, Matt!

Birthday

Happy birthday, Sean!

It's not even 9pm and I want to go to bed. G'nite. :) -j.

JOTD: "Do you know how fast you were going?" asks the cop.
And Professor Heisenberg says, "No, but I know where I am!"

Happy Mothers' Day!

Hm... so this was a cake-filled weekend. Spent Friday running some errands and then baking cakes with Ian. We were both making cakes for our mothers for Mothers' Day. I also chose that day to head over to Cartoon Cuts and get my hair chopped off for Locks of Love (Wow! They've really updated their website. They have recipient and donor photos up now. They're really cute.).

After that went with Ian to Wegman's to get supplies for our projects. We ended up not buying buttermilk from there because they only had non-fat buttermilk, which we thought seemed odd, but we didn't want to mess with the recipe. We decided to wait and check another grocery store only to go to Giant and find out that they carry the exact same store-brand item. Apparently buttermilk only comes in low fat. I had no idea. Also, only in quart containers too. Oh well. I hope they have some use for the extra 3 cups of buttermilk.

Anyway, for Ian's family, we baked a three-layer red velvet cake that turned out really nicely. The recipe we used was a little unclear (said to preheat at one temperature and bake at another, but the conversion to Celsius was a constant temperature) and we forgot two ingredients (vanilla and salt), but it tasted good and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

For my family, I decided on a mandarin orange cake. It turned out to be really easy, but much improved from just a plain old box cake. It used a yellow cake mix as the base and mixed in canned oranges. The topping I left separate so my grandmother would eat the cake without making a big show of scraping off any excess sugar that "didn't belong." It turned out to be a good idea. She had a piece yesterday when I went over for family lunch and liked it enough to have a second piece when I went by for lunch again today. The topping turned out really well and that might be my standard topping from now on. It was really light and fluffy, not too sweet and complemented the cake well. The pineapple went well with the orange in the cake, but in the future I might try different flavor puddings with it or cocoa or something like that. There are many possibilities.

Yesterday morning was spent finishing up the topping for the mandarin orange cake and then hanging out with my family for lunch. The afternoon and evening was spent out in DC watching an ultimate frisbee tournament that Ian was taking part in. Got some sun, some entertainment, and some reading in. It was a nice day out, but a little bit windy, so that proved a challenge for some of the games. Went out to dinner with people after and then headed home for some reading before passing out.

Red Velvet Cake

INGREDIENTS:
* 1 cup butter, softened
* 3 cups white sugar
* 6 eggs
* 1 ounce red food coloring
* 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
* 3 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 cup buttermilk
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1 tablespoon white vinegar

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour three 8 inch pans.
2. In a large bowl, cream 1 cup butter with sugar. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Mix food coloring with cocoa and add to mixture.
3. Add flour alternately with buttermilk. Add vanilla and salt.
4. Mix baking soda with vinegar, and gently stir into mixture. Be careful not to over mix.
5. divide batter into three prepared 8 inch round pans. Bake for 25 minutes. Allow to cool.

*Notes: This is a lot of batter. 9" rounds might be better. Just beware the pans might overflow just a tad when baking. Also, they're serious when they say "large bowl."

Mandarin Orange Cake

INGREDIENTS:
* 1 (18.25 ounce) package yellow cake mix
* 4 eggs
* 1 cup vegetable oil
* 1 (11 ounce) can mandarin orange segments
* 1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
* 1 (20 ounce) can crushed pineapple with juice
* 1 (3.5 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x13 inch pan.
2. In a large bowl, combine cake mix, eggs, oil and mandarin oranges with juice. Beat until smooth. Pour batter into prepared pan.
3. Bake in the preheated oven for 35 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Allow to cool.
4. To make the topping: In a large bowl, beat together whipped topping, pineapple with juice and dry pudding mix until blended. Spread on cake.

Notes: So easy. ~5 minute prep time. This comes out to a lot of topping... could be used for round layer cake as well. Probably not enough for a half-sheet layer cake though.

Sonny update:

Just in case you all aren't checking comments on UB, Sonny has arrived in France. In response to comments on his last post:

Reeeeaaarr! I'm gone for maybe 24 hours and look at this place. I'll try to answer all of the questions that were posted, but that may prove to be too difficile with this French keyboard. You see, in France, the letter Q is used so often, they swap it with the letter 'A' on the keyboard. Can you imagine that? There are maybe a half dozen other swaps, so this'll take some getting used to. The other thing throwing me off is that you have to hold shift down in order to get any of the numbers, unlike in the US when the numbers are automatic and you hold shift for all of the characters. That really throws me off because I don't actually know my password for my e-mail. I just know the numbers associated with the character...which screws me in France because they mix them all up over here. I actually had to ask the guy next to me for help typing the '@' key...which really hurts my pride being a nerd and all. I felt like Ben Stiller near the end of Zoolander trying to figure it all out.


French keyboard


*takes breath*

Okay, at 3 euros per hour, you all should be honored that I am taking the time to write. With that out of the way, I hit the ground in Paris yesterday afternoon, though I posted my last entry at the USO in Germany. Right now, I am at the XS arena, one of the only places with extended internet hours. The rest of Paris doesn't seem to wake up before 9:00.


Moving on, the rear is what we call any area that is not forward on the battlefield...and depending on what you do, you may have a different interpretation of the rear. But the main reason why people don't like it in the rear is because it tends to be very tight...as in there is a lot of brass around and they tend to be very strict and formal when it comes to regulations.


To answer Joel's question, my decision to join the National Guard came after the summer after my first year of college. It was the first time in my life when I was not either employed or going to school. I didn't like the feeling of being useless, so I decided to enlist. That was actually second on my list as I wanted to be a firefighter as well...but I'm happy that I made the decision that I made. It's been very rewarding and I get to make a very different impact on my soldiers' lives compared to the kind I have on my students' lives.


I think that takes care of the questions. Keep them coming if you have more.

If I were a proctologist...

I've been trying to stay away from memes on here, but Carter asked... So, of course I will play:

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you).

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

Here's that list:

1. If I could be a scientist...
2. If I could be a farmer...
3. If I could be a musician...
4. If I could be a doctor...
5. If I could be a painter...
6. If I could be a gardener...
7. If I could be a missionary...
8. If I could be a chef...
9. If I could be an architect...
10. If I could be a linguist...
11. If I could be a psychologist...
12. If I could be a librarian...
13. If I could be an athlete...
14. If I could be a lawyer...
15. If I could be an innkeeper...
16. If I could be a professor...
17. If I could be a writer...
18. If I could be a backup dancer...
19. If I could be a llama-rider...
20. If I could be a bonnie pirate...
21. If I could be a midget stripper...
22. If I could be a proctologist...
23. If I could be a TV-Chat Show host...
24. If I could be an actor...
25. If I could be a judge...
26. If I could be a Jedi...
27. If I could be a mob boss...
28. If I could be an Avon Lady...
29. If I could be a store owner...
30. If I could be a high school physics teacher...
31. If I could be an ocean engineer...
32. If I could be a multi-media strategist...


If I could be a chef, I would follow in the footsteps of my evil twin and become a pastry chef.

If I could be a TV-Chat Show host, I would invite famous guests on matched to face off. They would have impromptu competitions, such as kickboxing matches, cook off, or read-a-thon.

If I could be a writer, I'd make up all kinds of gossip that my friends don't give me now. There'd be monkeys and clowns and car chases... maybe even a drug bust or three. Oh wait, I already have that. Well, not the monkeys or clowns. I'll keep those.

If I could be an Avon Lady, I would try selling to the transvestite market. They need make-up, right?

If I could be a llama-rider, I would finally be skilled enough to have an alpaca farm! I could sell their wool and be rich! RICH!

Ok, and let's see... who do I get to burden with this? ;)
Eepie
Squidgey
VHMPrincess
Everyone else is, of course, welcome to play. Just picked these three because they update pretty regularly. (And probably check my blog regularly too.) -j.

LsOTD:
Happy Cinco de Mayo
Happy Space Day!
And... Holocaust Memorial Day -- Apparently the rest of the world observes this in January, but it's today around here.

Not a today thing, but what is wrong with kids these days? 10 Teens Arrested After Fracas at Metro Station: "Ten teenage girls were arrested at the Anacostia Metro station yesterday after a fist-swinging, hair-pulling brawl, authorities said."

Ugly Children May Get Parental Short Shrift

Ugly Children May Get Parental Short Shrift:

"When it came to buckling up, pretty and ugly children were treated in starkly different ways, with seat belt use increasing in direct proportion to attractiveness. When a woman was in charge, 4 percent of the homeliest children were strapped in compared with 13.3 percent of the most attractive children. The difference was even more acute when fathers led the shopping expedition - in those cases, none of the least attractive children were secured with seat belts, while 12.5 percent of the prettiest children were."

Sonny must have been the smartest and the prettiest in our family... The rest of us fell down a flight of stairs on different occasions. Where's the love?

Time-Travel Convention

MIT Student Holds Time-Travel Convention:

"Melissa Block talks with MIT graduate student Amal Dorai about the time traveler convention he's planning for this coming Saturday. Dorai hopes that news of his event will induce future generations to come back and join the celebration."

"You only need one Time-Travel Convention, so why not now? Why not here?"

Right... And why would they prove that they're from the future by giving you stock prices or cures for diseases. That would completely throw off the space-time continuum and make their futures not exist. Stupid guy.

Unwanted child forced to have unwanted child

Totally forgot to be angry about this last week -- Florida's latest cry for attention: DCF out to block 13-year-old's abortion:

"WEST PALM BEACH -- As a 13-year-old Palm Beach County girl prepared this week to end a pregnancy she says she does not want, the Florida Department of Children and Families went to court to stop her from having the abortion."

So, let me get this straight. A 13-year-old girl was taken away from her parents 4 years ago because they were abusive and put into a group home, from which she ran away for 2 weeks, got pregnant and now the Department of Children and Families wants to intervene? They're stopping her from getting an abortion because she is not mature enough to make that kind of decision.

Well, she's also not mature enough to be wandering around without a guardian. She's not mature enough to be out on the streets on her own getting pregnant. She's not mature enough to be raising a child. But what do you want her to do about that?

Don't these people care how she got pregnant? Who the father is? What will become of the baby after the child delivers him/her? It's clear that she can't take care of herself. How will she take care of another human being? She's not old enough to work, drive, vote, or even open her own bank account. Who will pay for this child and her baby's medical bills?

In the case of the severely retarded woman who was raped and forced to carry the resulting offspring to term, the baby was adopted. So, fine... the highly publicized pro-life cases result in the child being adopted. What about the rest of the people in the adoption system? What about these children getting pregnant? These "troubled teens" that no one wants because they're a bad influence on other kids. They get into trouble with the law or they steal from their foster families.

Now what do you do?

LOTD so addictive from Squidgey: Grant Robinson : Guess-the-google launcher

QOTD: "I'm sorry you have a family."

The Ultimate Blogger

Oh oh! Sonny is on his way to internet fame: The Ultimate Blogger!

His latest entry is up. Check out the contest if you get a chance. -j.

All my dimes, lined up in a row...

Hung out with my mom yesterday morning walking for the March of Dimes. Apparently this was the weekend to do this kind of thing... There was also a walk/run for brain tumors and I think the Avon Walk ended somewhere near the mall.

It was a 5-mile walk starting from the Ellipse, going around the mall, around the Tidal Basin and FDR Memorial, and ending back at the Ellipse. Apparently somewhere in there they cut the walk route in half, but didn't make that clear to all the participants or reflect it in the map, so we ended up doing the whole route anyway.

There was also one lone protestor, which I still haven't figured out. She was standing by the start of the route with a sign that said something to the effect of, "My sister had a birth defect and our family is against the March of Dimes." Why? I don't know. What is the purpose of her protest? I don't know. Didn't have a chance or really feel like talking to her, so I guess now I'll never know.

And along came google... Hehe. I just thought to see what opposition there was for the March of Dimes and I found this. Catholic Tradition and Pro-lifers. Interesting.

Spent the rest of the day hanging out at my parents' house. Left to go over to the HOY and did math! That's about it. I'll have pictures from yesterday probably up tonight some time. Didn't bring a camera on Saturday, though I kind of wished I had. It was kind of cool with all those tents set up in the middle of a track. But I didn't want my camera to get rained on, so it worked out ok. -j.

QOTD from Numb3rs: "Applied physicists are from Venus..."
"And theoretical physicists wonder why it rotates in the opposite direction."