Hail to the internet!

*gigggle*

Yay! My magical sister fixed the internet! :) I can blog from my room once again. Woo!

Spent yesterday evening with TWB. Watched a movie and then ended up sitting around talking for close to 4 hours. Just in time to get him home to go on a road trip with his pappy. Strange fellows, really.

Today... Got up to go be nice to people at the museum. It was pretty uneventful. "Where is the bathroom?" "How do I get up to the tower?" "What IMAX movies are playing?" Headed over to my sis's place after that. Hung out with the HOY gang for a bit before heading back over to straighten up for guests. As usual, food, family, friends, and fun. Mix in a little karaoke and wacky hijinks. :) -J.


I've figured out why I'm so lazy: I have recumbent DNA.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

Burrito!

For those of you who don't read Crit's site or are not members of the Chipotle community on orkut: "Buy one burrito on this sunday February 29th and save your receipt. Take your receipt back to chipotle anytime the following week (before the following sunday(march 7th)) and receive a free burrito."

Edit: I saw a sign at the Fairfax Chipotle yesterday, so I know at least that one is participating. Woo! Chipotle! :) -J.

Dear Abby

Oh my goodness... this is the funniest Dear Abby I've read in a really long time:

DEAR ABBY: I have a most embarrassing problem. My job requires me to make public appearances, and often I am "dressed to the nines." I admit, for dramatic purposes, I sometimes apply too much makeup. I have always been told I am beautiful, and I have even done some modeling.

Here's the dilemma: People think I am a man. Once I was cornered at a festival by an angry group of people who had been fired up by one drunkard's insistence that I was a drag queen. (Abby, I have children and I am definitely female.)

The first few times it happened, I tried to brush it off and regain my composure -- once I stopped crying. But lately, it is getting ridiculous. I am mistaken for a cross-dresser even when I wear very little makeup. At 5-foot-7 and 120 pounds, I'm hardly manly. A week doesn't go by without this happening.

My boyfriend says I should blow it off -- that people are jealous. My self-confidence is in the cellar and I'm at my wit's end. I have struggled with severe depression my whole life, and this isn't helping. A lot of the time I'd like to cower somewhere, but my job won't let me. Help! -- CRYING IN PHOENIX

DEAR CRYING: It's difficult to give you an answer sight unseen, but let's analyze this. Drag queens are often known for their flawless makeup and their flamboyant manner of dress. Could this be a description of you? If the answer is "maybe" -- then it's time for a fashion and image makeover.

Health update

My nose has been running for 9 hours straight now. I hope it stops soon.

On an unrelated (or possibly related?) note, I went to back to the chiropractor for my first adjustment today. It was actually pretty cool. I saw my X-rays from yesterday, which showed that I'm lopsided and leaning forward. Then they had me lie on this roller/massage doober for a few minutes. After that, they attached electrodes to me and zapped me for a bit. Then the doctor man popped my back and neck. It was very loud. Interesting experience. Time for sleep. That is all. :) -J.

MP Jr

Playing the part of MP... Who wants to go see Margaret Cho at the Improv? April 25, 8:00pm. Tickets will be purchased tomorrow at 7pm. If you don't let me know by then, you're on your own. -j.

Last one... really...

Stole this from some dude on lj. Last thing on this topic though. I'll go back to just being racist and pointless shortly:

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to things like cars or longer life spans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

Edit: This list originated from Gator Gay-Straight Alliance.

Dear Mary

Huh... I completely missed this during the last election, but I was informed recently that the VP's daughter, Mary, is a lesbian. Apparently, while campaigning last time around she said, "We can make sexual orientation a nonissue for the Republican Party, and we can help achieve equality for all gay and lesbian Americans."

Not quite what happened, huh? And like Wil Wheaton says, "An interesting thing has happened since San Francisco started granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples: my marriage is just fine!" I honestly don't get why it would be a threat to heterosexual people if homosexual marriages were allowed. One of the comments left in response to his rant pretty much sums it up:

"The thing that infuriates me is that the drive to let homosexuals be married isn't about forcing churches to marry them. Any given church can decide not to marry a homosexual couple if it wants. This is about allowing a couple to pursue that, either at a church that does support it or via a County Clerk or whatever. No one on the right wants to acknowledge this. They want to make it out like its an attack on marriage and next thing you know we'll be marrying our dogs and letting potted plants vote and then Western Civilization will fall."

That's so true. I don't want to marry a dog, but I have been waiting for this all to blow over and accepted before attempting to marry the internet. My dream... *swoon* :) -J.

No Pants Day!

Ok, so I said I would cut it out with these quizzes and stuff, but this made me laugh. A lot. And I'm different from TB and eep:

You Should Wear Boxers! Boxers are a good choice for you. They are always funny, and they keep your genitalia hidden from view. Find out which No Pants Day outfit YOU should wear! No Pants Day is May 7th, 2004. To find out more about No Pants Day, visit www.NoPantsDay.com

Highlights...
Mindless is back in town. That means he will soon have a new name. Anyway, hung out with him Monday evening and watched K-Pax. Quality movie. I love the planetarium scene. By far my favorite. Astrophysics is so dreamy. :) Anyway, I somehow did something to my neck/back yesterday. I'm at home because I can't turn my head to back out of my parking spot. Or turn to check my blind spot... I'm not sure how I'm going to get to the chiropractor today. But we'll see...

Story time from yesterday:
Staples... So, NewGuy and I were given the task of stapling a bunch of handouts for a meeting. I brought my handy stapler to his office and away we stapled. Well, until I ran out of staples. He pulled out his mostly-brand new box of staples. We swapped staplers and he loaded the shiny new staples in. Then he tried stapling with it. Stuck. Unjam stapler. Try again. Staple. Jam. Every time he stapled, two or three staples would go through and get stuck. Odd. Are these the same staples I have? Let me check... The boxes are the same. The staples *look* the same. There must be a difference. So, here we are: two engineers, two staplers, two boxes of staples, and a quandary. We discovered that the dispenser part in my stapler was wider than the one in his, his staples were taller than mine and slightly thinner (as in material, not width), and my staples worked in both staplers, while his staples worked only in his. What is wrong here? Ok. Go over and steal staples from MichiganTony to determine who had the box of defective staples. Turns out it was NG. But then MT came over and started shooting staples out of my stapler and everything worked. Even the defective taller staples. I don't understand. But by that time, no one really cared anymore. Go science!

After work, I went to the gym for my weekly kickboxing class. The instructor for this class is excellent. Her sister is a hokie too. So another point for her. Anyway, this class has about 50 people in it and is open to anybody who is a member of the gym. For the most part though, only women take the class. Last night was no different. However, we had a few spectators in the doorway. The instructor told them they were welcome to participate in the class, but they can't just hang out in the doorway. When she said this she was at the front of the room, opposite the door. They didn't respond and just kept oogling (teehee... that's for you, BFF) as we exercised. The instructor continued with her kicks and punches as she headed toward the door and told the guys to leave. They ran away when she got close to them and she shut the door. Stupid boys. :) -J.

The Guy's Guide to Geek Girls - Illustrated!

LOTD: The Guy's Guide to Geek Girls - Illustrated!

DWB-SAG... sup wit dat yo?

I was talking to people yesterday and I was asked twice about the DorkyWhiteBoy-SmallAsianGirl phenomenon. It's not like I'm some kind of expert on this or anything. But M2 (TB's friend) was inquiring as to why DWBs are always going after SAGs. Why he asked her, I don't quite understand. Apparently, since she's a girl she understands everything about everything. Which isn't too far off base, but that just seemed a little out of her reach. In any case, she suggested he ask me. Then it evolved into me being a case study for this question. Why me, I'm not quite sure. Because, although I do have a number of DWBs in my arsenal, they're not DWBs interested in dating me. They keep me around to play wingman, which isn't exactly the situation M2 was inquiring about. In any case, after discussing with my sister, I have compiled a list of hypotheses on the subject:

1. The macho factor: This is the most common explanation I have heard over the years. Boys like feeling macho and tough and the easiest way to do that is to pick a SAG because no matter what, he'll be bigger, taller, stronger, etc. than the SAG. They get an ego boost out of being big.

2. The asian factor: It's all a numbers game. There are a lot of asian girls out there. Now, this would make you think that there are also a lot of asian boys out there, which for the most part is true, but the problem is the asian boy-asian girl matchups that aren't happening. Why is this the case? A few possible explanations...

The nice, asian boys are looking for nice girls, but growing up in America, they try to blend in with generic "American" culture by rejecting their own culture. As a result, instead of looking for the nice, asian girls, they look for the Britneys and Jessicas.

Along the same lines of the macho factor, these boys might be looking for meek, subdued women from traditional culture, which is less typical of the badass Lucys growing up here.

Accordingly, the SAGs know they don't have to put up with being made to feel inferior to their mate, so they'll reject domineering asian boys. Granted, they're not all domineering. But from what I've seen, there seems to be less of a continuum in confidence levels. Either they're the domineering type, or they're the shy type who will never muster up the guts to ask a SAG out.

3. The intellectual factor (unlikely, I know): DWBs are looking for smart women, so they gravitate toward SAGs. Yes, total stereotype, but how many non-Korean, asian airheads have you ever met? Haha ok. Sorry. That was just blatantly mean. I don't even know any Korean girls. I'm not at all saying they're all dumb or that white girls are dumb either. There's an intellectual spectrum in any race/gender/culture/whatever. I have just found that there is a very strong preconceived notion (unsubstantiated or not) that asian people have above average intelligence. After all, everyone knows who does best on the SATs. ;)

So with this intellectual factor, why don't the asians stick together and preserve their intelligence? Again with the macho factor, boys don't want girls who are smarter than them. There are the traditional asian boys who would not put up with an out-spoken SAG who thinks she is smarter than him. The horror! And to be fair, it isn't restricted to asian boys at all. I've scared a few boys away because they couldn't keep up, or even pissed off a few because I used words they couldn't understand (either ask or pick up a friggin' dictionary. It's really not that hard a thing to do).

In conclusion, I have no idea why the DWB-SAG phenomenon exists, but these are some preliminary hypotheses from brainstorming. Any additional ideas are welcome. I will keep you posted if I have a breakthrough of any kind. :) -J.

Penguin game!

Penguins!

Calling all nerds

My company is looking to hire a software developer in the next month or two. Here is our description of the job.

If you're interested or know someone who is please put them in touch with me.

SPJ

Hehe...

Sam is great: "I really hate straight boys who are geeky and nerdy and don't know how to deal with the opposite sex. They bug the crap out of me, how they exploit the niceness of my friends who are too polite to tell them to 'fuck off'. While that solution would certainly work, you shouldn't have to put them in it. Take a hint already and fix yourself."

Understanding Engineers

I haven't seen this in years. Got it in college a few years ago and saw it again today:

Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.” The second engineer nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

Understanding Engineers -

Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers -

Take Three

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! “ The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” [dramatic pause]”Hi George, say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The greens keeper replied, “Oh, yes, that’s a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.
The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.” The doctor said, “Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.” The engineer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”

Understanding Engineers -

Take Four

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine.
At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, “This is where your problem is”. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. Astonished, they demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1. K nowing where to put it $49,999. It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Understanding Engineers -

Take Five

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers -

Take Six

“Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.”

Understanding Engineers -

Take Seven

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke upagain and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want!” Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?” The engineer said, “Look I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but have a talking frog, now that’s cool!”

In other news, female engineer != boy. I don't know why it is necessary to repeat this as often as I do. Just because I don't like being a girl doesn't mean I'm not one. I can't help it. Jerkwad. -j.

Queer something something... for the other um whatever.

Friday -- Went to gym without incident for once. Picked up TWB and headed over to HOY for dinner. Hung out over there for a bit. Watched Queer Eye for the first time. Hopefully the last time... I'm still not exactly clear on why everyone likes this show so much. It's a bunch of people being mean to someone who's not very fashionable. I know that's funny to some people, but it just seems... well... mean. I mean, I'm not going to pretend like I don't make fun of people. But what's the point of watching someone else do it on TV? I can do that on my own just fine and that's way more entertaining than letting someone else do it. Anyway, that was most of the evening.

Saturday -- Orientation! Went to the museum and got to go up in the tower before all the people showed up. It was awesome. It was so nice and peaceful up there. Amazing view of the area and just totally cool. Played the part of friendly, nice person for close to 4 hours. 4 hours. My favorite part was where I opened the booklet to page 20 with the map of this museum in it and left them on the desk for people to take. Person walks up, picks up book, closes the book, looks at me, and asks if there is a map in this book. Repeat. Not to mention the 4 signs posted saying that a floorplan of the museum is on page 20. And that when you walk up to the first railing, you can pretty much see all the main craft. From there, you can head in the direction of whichever plane you would like to see. Anyway, after that went and watched an IMAX movie. I'm so disappointed because I was sitting there and somehow, the next thing I knew, I was unconscious. Not completely asleep, but dozing off without realizing it. Came home and was working on my blanket when I, again, fell asleep. Four phone calls, 2 inquiries as to my living status, and a metro ride later... dinner with peoples at Bombay Palace. Very tasty food. 'Twas quite fun. Faced the metro back on my own, but was protected by a wall of high school boys. Boys are funny... Heh. Off to HOY for some gossip-filled, card-yelling fun.

Ok. Sleep time. I'm off. :) -J.

copper and stuff

Forgot to write about this the other day. Driving home, I was in the left lane because the people in the other lanes were driving extra slow. So, this car comes up behind me and I'm waiting for an opening on my right so I can get out of the way of speedy. I'm going about 65, I guess. Of course, the dude starts tailgating and I finally get to the front of the slow car line and switch over. As the car behind me passes me, I notice that it's a police car. Possibly why the other drivers were going so slow, but unlikely because the car in front couldn't possibly have seen the cop driving up. In any case, this is the second time I've had a cop tailgate me. The other time was New Year's eve. Aren't these people supposed to be setting a good example or something?

'Tis the week for missing friends... Found a couple on those wannabe friendster sites and a couple phone calls. Mostly people I've just lost touch with. I think I have reached a point where I keep up with the people I want to keep up with and the ones that fade, either fade for a very obvious reason, or I have contact info for those people and we just have less and less in common as time moves on.

On a less related note, I said goodbye to a friend this morning. Not like, see ya, talk to you later, but goodbye, I hope I'll see you again, but if not, good luck with life. Yes, I know, I already said goodbye to this friend about a year and a half ago, but this time it was different. It wasn't so much a physical distance goodbye, as it was a potential cognitive distance. For a few months now, he has been losing time, losing focus, lacking concentration... And now he's worried that he will further lose cognitive function, including that which allows him to communicate and remember friends. Sounds a little far out. But whether or not it's a physical problem, whereby he has an undiagnosable or incurable chemical imbalance of sorts, there is still a problem. So what if it's not physical? And it's "just" psychological? Well, unless he can find a way to convince his brain otherwise, the predicament remains. Anyway, hopefully it turns out to be nothing... just a glitch in his neurological processes. But if not... well... you'll be hearing about it. This sounds so dramatic, considering nothing has been diagnosed. But that's what I know. And it's always sad losing a friend. At least I got to say goodbye this time. Now, I said goodbye and I still get to keep in touch. It kinda works out... or something. Anyway, I'm off! :) -J.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

KoNJ

So the phone call from ESG last night... Turns out she has tracked down a friend of ours from elementary school (I'll call her... OEG). We used to hang out in 6th grade and then after middle school she kind of disappeared. Before the disappearance, though... ESG's mom had a rather confrontational last stand with OEG's father. There were some allegations... and they were told to cease contact with her. So, fast forward about a decade or so and ESG has been trying to track down OEG for the past year or two with no success. And then... She finds this. Apparently OEG was enrolled in this questionably fraudulent and abusive drug rehab center up in Jersey. Similar to the controversy with Tranquility Bay, this child abusing program was being passed off as a haven for troubled teens and their families. It is now supposedly shut down, but there are still rumors that they are still open elsewhere or under a different name with the same guy running it. Anyway, that's the update of the day.

I'll leave you with something a little less serious (TLD-- Stop reading now. Ok fine. Don't say I didn't warn you.):

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

:) -J.

^_^

Thank you Mr. Mystery Man!! I'm a member! :) Let me know if any of y'all want to join. Don't want to spam people or anything. And once again, I must profess my love for google and the internet as a whole. It's the best.

He linked me too (when stealing the BattleFish doober I stole from eepie): "I don't know if there is anything to be read into this or not, but the BattleFishy named George W Bush beats BattleFishies named John Kerry and John Edwards easily, but against BattleFishy Howard Dean, it is a tie."

"Never give up, never give up, never give up."

:) -J.

$650

Dude... maybe this guy would've helped me buy that plane: Hundreds of coins found in patient's belly

mmm... nerds...

So my latest nerdgoal of the day is to become a member of orkut. I don't know why and I don't even know what it's for really. It's like an exclusive friendster, so I want to be a part of the in-crowd. So maybe if the popular nerd kids at google let me play, then I can make friends with them. That would be so ubercool. Anyway, so if you know anyone who's a member or know someone who knows someone, please let me know.

In other news... Went to the sname meeting tonight. It was pretty interesting. Human systems integration relating to crew size, performance, task distribution, and such. They have surprsingly low estimates for manning on some of these new ships that are being designed now. After that, I went to drop off a valentine (only two left! woo!) and hung out watching tv for an hour or so. And he gave me cookies. It was excellent. Then it was phone time... Got a call from Mindless, my mommy, and ESG (elementary school girl... the only person from elementary school who still keeps in contact with me). Called SPJ, my bro, and returned all the other calls. Ok. I'm going to bed. This entry is boring me to sleep. I need something to rant about. :) -J.

Ocean studies will move to other planets

And all you people told me ocean engineering has nothing to do with aerospace engineering. =P on you. Change the reynolds number, change rho, and you have the...

LOTD: Ocean studies will move to other planets: "The skills and technology used to explore the extreme depths of the Earth's oceans will soon find work in outer space."

hm... anyone have some money lying around?

I just need $3.5million. I'd even let you sit in it: Mig 29 Fighter JET

Update: Site has been taken down. I think the feds got 'em. Shucks.

Fish and Church

enjachick Molly Agility 9 | Strength 3 | Stamina 9 Battle Rating 21 Origins enjachick was born to human parents Can your fishy beat enjachick ?

LOTD: I don't remember if I posted this before, but I came across it a while ago and happened by again today. My favorite are the middle school ones:

1st Place: "Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life"
(Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.)

2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay

This test taken @ theaerozone.com, where there is way too many other tests & things to keep you occupied, really.

Another TheAeroZone.com test, where the orgy of quizzes never ends. Yack about results and more in the aZone House of Pleasure!

Moovies

Bold the movies you've seen and add five at the end.

1. X-Men
2. The Craft
3. X2
4. Swimfan
5. Fellowship of the Ring
6. Finding Nemo
7. Peter Pan (the cartoon)
8. Home Alone
9. Aladdin
10. The Ring
11. 10 Things I Hate About You
12. Not Another Teen Movie
13. Spiceworld
14. 8 Mile
15. Bambi
16. Pirates of the Caribbean
17. Edward Scissorhands
18. Stepmom
19. My Best Friends Wedding
20. 101 Dalmatians (the cartoon)
21. Scream
22. Scream 2
23. Scream 3
24. Big Daddy
25. Billy Madison
26. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
27. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
28. Heartbreakers
29. Dumb & Dumber
30. Two Weeks Notice
31. Scary Movie
32. Look Who's Talking
33. Blade
34. Blade II
35. O
36. Titanic
37. Carrie
38. Carrie 2: The Rage
39. Daddy Day Care
40. Legally Blonde
41. Austin Powers
42. Storm of the Century
43. Oliver and Company
44. The Two Towers
45. Return of the King
46. Mighty Ducks
47. The Fast and the Furious
48. 2Fast, 2 Furious
49. A Walk To Remember
50. XXX
51. Beauty and the Beast
52. I Know What You Did Last Summer
53. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
54. Sound of Music
55. Mary Poppins
56. Tuck Everlasting
57. The Patriot
58. The Wizard of Oz
59. Teaching Mrs. Tingle
60. Crossroads
61. Now and Then
62. Pearl Harbor
63. Just Married
64. Cast Away
65. Radio Flyer
66. Final Destination
67. Lady and the Tramp
68. Dancer In The Dark
69. 40 Days and 40 Nights
70. Bring It On
71. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
72. The Outsiders
73. The Matrix
74. Perfect Storm
75. Cruel Intentions
76. Never Been Kissed
77. Clueless
78. Bruce Almighty
79. Remember the Titans
81. Girl, Interrupted
82. SWAT
83. Sixth Sense
84. Phone Booth
85. The Lion King
86. Urban Legends
87. Nightflier
88. Lion King 2
89. Little Mermaid
90. American Pie
91. The Challengers
92. Scooby Doo
93. Bedazzled
94. Mrs. Doubtfire
95. Save the Last Dance
96. My Girl
97. American Beauty
98. Romeo & Juliet
99. Lost World
100. Housesitter
101. Miss Congeniality
102. The Rock
103. Face Off
104. Moulin Rouge
105. Sleeping Beauty
106. Alien
107. Tombstone
108. Lake Placid
109. The Recruit
110. The Shining
111. Pocahontas
112. Win a Date with Tad Hamilton
113. Koyaanisqatsi
114. Princess Mononoke
115. Braveheart
116. Gone with the Wind
117. She's All That
118. Heavy Metal
119. Remo Williams
120. Fried Green Tomatoes
121. Steel Magnolias
122. Fight Club
123. Star Wars
124. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
125. Toy Soldiers
126. Clerks
127. Magnolia
128. Wild Things
129. The Nightmare Before Christmas
130. What Dreams May Come
131. Heavenly Creatures
132. Frequency
133. The Others
134. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
135. Along Came A Spider
136. Annie
137. Eyes Wide Shut
138. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
139. Practical Magic
140. Down With Love
141. The Fifth Element
142. Donnie Darko
143. Kiki's Delivery Service
144. Big Fish
145. Chasing Amy
146. Unbearable Lightness of Being
147. Parent Trap
148. Great Expectations
149. Bridges of Madison County
150. I Am Sam
151. Life as a House
152. Prince of Tides
153. Kill Bill Vol. 1
154. Bowling For Columbine
155. Elf
156. Spun
157. Weekend at Bernie's
158. The House of Mirth
159. The Rose
160. Chocolat
161. Requiem for a Dream
162. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
163. Mask
164. Gia
165. The Secretary
166. The Big Lebowski
167. Rushmore
168. Return to Me
169. Muppets Take Manhattan
170. The X-Files: Fight The Future
171. Moonstruck
172. Happy Gilmore
173. Mona Lisa Smile
174. Bad Boys
175. Bad Boys 2
176. The Delta Force
177. A League of Their Own
178. Murder by Death
179. The Hot Chick
180. Shrek
181. Groundhog Day
182. Liar Liar
183. The Silence of the Lambs
184. Run Lola Run
185. Devil's Advocate
186. se7en
187. Zoolander
188. The Life of David Gale
189. Swing Kids
190. One True Thing
191. Mommie Dearest
192. Chicago 193. Guenevere
194. The Worst Witch
195. Gas Food Lodging
196. Go
197. Return To Oz
198. Saturday Night Fever
199. Xanadu
200. Grease
201. Star Trek The Motion Pictures
202. Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan
203. Star Trek: The Search for Spock
204. Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country
205. Star Trek: The Voyage Home
206. Snatch
207. Murder By Numbers
208. Thirteen Ghosts
209. Grease 2 OH the agony!
210. Scarface
211. American Splendor
212. Lost in Translation
213. Reservoir Dogs
214. Penn & Teller Get Killed
215. Man on the Moon
216. The Avengers
217. Rat Race
218. A Life Less Ordinary
219. The Serpent's Kiss
220. Cold Mountain
221. Spellbound
222. Little Women
223. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
224. October Sky
225. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
226. Ghost
227. Spaceballs
228. Cheaper by the Dozen (the Black and White version)
229. Forever Young
230. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
231. Monty Python's Life of Brian
232. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
233. My Cousin Vinny
234. Orange County
235. Cinderella
236. Ocean's 11
237. Maid In Manhattan
238. Catch Me If You Can
239. View From The Top
240. How To Steal A Million
241. Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
242. Trainspotting
243. Equilibrium
244. Amelie
245. Mallrats
246. Better Than Sex
247. Once Upon a Time In Mexico
248. The Crow (Original)
249. Dust
250. Quills
251. The Hours
252. Far From Heaven
253. Secretary
254. Bridget Jones's Diary
255. Pride and Prejudice
256. Annie Hall
257. Cabaret
258. Show Me Love
259. Lost & Delirious
260. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
261. Anger Management
262. Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars
263. The Rocky Horror Picture Show
264. I Shot Andy Warhol
265. My Own Private Idaho
266. Wrong Turn
267. 28 Days Later
268. Spirited Away
269. Velvet Goldmine
270. When Love Comes
271. Intermission
272. Withnail & I
273. The Opposite of Sex
274. The Faculty
275. Spin the Bottle
276. Paper Mask
277. When Harry Met Sally
278. Sense and Sensability
279. Hamlet
280. The Full Monty
281.Signs
282. Amadeus
283. Clash of the Titans
284.The Mummy
285.Twister
286. Desperado
287. Secondhand Lions
288. Johnny English
289. To Kill a Mockingbird
290. The Astronaut's Wife
291. Dogma
292. Hideous Kinky
293. Cold Comfort Farm
294. Waking Ned Devine
295. Brokedown Palace
296. A Few Good Men
297. Gattaca
298. Little Man Tate
299. Pi
300. Boondock Saints

Dilbert

Oh my goodness...



Quotes from the lj feed:
"Ah, Engineering, I think I love you."

"Duties of a Woman -- barefoot, pregnant, at home, in the kitchen, keeping the web server and network up. "

Cooookie...

So much for cookie delivery day. Only delivered two valentines because everyone else was still driving back into town from their weekend trips. I guess it was a good thing I didn't get around to delivering yesterday. Got Thai food for dinner with the HOY folk and Ray. Good food, good company. Pretty mellow evening. Worked on my blanket. Need to start doing the things on my to-do list. I feel so unproductive every Sunday night when I haven't finished any of the things on the list. Actually, haven't started any of the things on the list. So, I should just decide to get those things done and get it over with. Next weekend more Smithsonian stuff, but then after that, I'll have 3 Saturdays free to sleep in and do whatever I please. That's about it. 'Nite. :) -J.

Ahh valentine's day...

So, I haven't really posted anything of substance in a while... (in case you didn't notice on your own) Mostly because I've been busy, but also because I didn't really have anything to talk about aside from "My gym sucks." and "Work was uneventful." Now, I don't really think that my gym sucks, but I went about 4 times last week and have been trying to avoid seeing my personal trainer dude (PTD). There isn't really any reason in particular for me to avoid him, since if I don't have an appointment with him, he's not going to make me work out until I'm excessively sore the next day, but I think I just don't want to make smalltalk at the gym. Speaking of which... Almost every time I go to the gym someone starts talking to me. Friday, I went and was swimming in this lane with two of the slowest swimmers I think I have ever encountered. They swim kind of like my dad... In the middle of the lane, with slow, deliberate strokes and remind me of a sluggish sea turtle. And I mean sluggish in comparison to other sea turtles. Not turtles compared to humans or cheetahs or something like that. Anyway, shared a lane with those people for a while and then switched to another lane where some old, asian guy was doing these ridiculous stretches at the end of the lane. But whatever, I took over his lane, I won't make fun of him too much. After I finished, I headed over to the whirlpool to hang out for a few minutes. There was a congregation of old men over there trying to figure out how to increase the temperature of the pool. Well, one guy knew that the lifeguard knew how to do it. She's ethiopian. So, of course, he asked me if I was ethiopian. Because... well, then I would either be a lifeguard and know how to adjust the temperature of the pool, or else I would know the lifeguard because ethiopians all know each other. In any case, I told him I was not ethiopian and that was ok because his wife was from Peru. Of course.

In other news... I am no longer making cookies for other people. Roy and I spent Friday evening preparing Valentines for people and, well... it didn't turn out as well as I [we?] had hoped. The cards were sufficiently festive though. Cookies were pretty... That's about all I can say about that. Spent the big day volunteering at the Smithsonian castle. Saw a dude about 3 years ahead of me in my dept down at tech. He walked past and I recognized him, but wasn't sure if he recognized me. So, I said hi when he passed the desk like I say to everyone else and he pulls his girlfriend over with him and asks me why I look familiar. I love when people ask that... "I don't remember you, but you should know who I am because I'm so memorable." Ok, so maybe it's not like that. And I suppose it's true because for the most part I remember people. Except for the one time I forgot I had already met my sis's friend's husband-then boyfriend/fiance and I said something along the lines of never having met him before, but had heard his name in passing. Oops. Wow, this is boring. Anyway, spent the evening shopping with my sis and then hanging out with my bro and some of his friends. Quite entertaining that bunch of hooligans. Ducked out when they decided to watch Deuce Bigalow and spent my evening watching a romantical movie: October Sky. *swoon* Science is so dreamy. Ok time for family time. Later! :) -J.

Cult of the One Eyed Cat: I choo choo choose you

I choo choo choose you: "it's hard to fit 'I know it's only fifth grade, and by the time we're sexually active we won't even know each other any more, but I think you're a nice person, and in my own way (limited by my scant ten years on this earth) I think you're what my mom calls 'cute.' I know that my mom likes my dad, and I know that I like you. So please understand that, for the context of this little candy heart, 'I Love You' will mean 'I like to play foursquare with you' and 'Kiss Me' will mean 'I hope we can be friends.' Do you want to be friends? Check yes or no.' on a candy heart."

TB-- this one's for you... err, well for Max.

Dogster

Windows... something something... source code, etc.

LOTD: "Whoa"

How To Date and Blog

How To Date and Blog: "The Blogger team doesn't want its faithful correspondents in the blogosphere to be lonely, miserable geeks typing away in solitude on Saturday nights (not that there's anything wrong with that). So, in an ironic twist of fate, they've asked me to come up with a few tips to help you manage your love life as well as your blog life." - Jennifer Garett

another quiz

i need to find something else to fill my time... take this quiz. This is me:

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

oh. my. goodness.

I have found my Cookie haven. :) -J.

bleh

Had stuff to blog about, but now i'm tired and i can't get to my email. so... yeah. got dinner with roy after work today. went to the gym and now i have an extra session with the personal trainer dude. i just want to swim. i don't know why they make me do these things. if they don't leave me alone soon, i might have to quit or something equally drastic, like not show up. anyway, sleepy. need to crawl under blankets... 'nite. -j.

Gilmore Girls - The Complete First Season

:) :) :) :) :)
Gilmore Girls!

mm...leg...

LOTD: Swimmer drives with shark on leg

Riddle of the day

ROTD: There are 20 people in an empty, square room. Each person has full sight of the entire room and everyone in it without turning his head or body, or moving in any way (other than the eyes). Where can you place an apple so that all but one person can see it?"

Pretty easy... I'll say 3 points.

My superpower

Thanks to Fashiondoc, I now know what my mutant power is: Low-Activity Aldehyde Dehydrogenase. I can slip alcohol in people's drinks while they're not looking and laugh maniacally. Mwahhahahahaaaaaaa *cough* err... *ahem* Yeah, so I'm immune. WOo. 'Nite all. :) -J.

It's Peanut Butter Jelly time!

LOTD: 'Peanut Butter' finally free from 'Jelly'

More useless info

I'm sure some of these are repeats, but whatever... I needed entertaining. And if I post this, that means the rest of the blog ring will post it. And then I will have things to read. Yay. :) -j.

First best friend(s): I don't remember picking one before, so I'll go with BFF
First job: paper route
First love: heh... ;)
last movie seen: The Breakfast Club (While eating waffles)
last cuss word uttered: Jerktard... I don't remember when I would've felt the need for a real cuss word, but I remember saying that on Sunday.
last beverage drank: water.
last food consumed: a cheese sandwich
last crush: I think possibly my last boyfriend... don't remember meeting anyone crush-worthy in a while.
last phone call: My bro... checking up on me to see if I was going over for dinner
last tv show watched: Everwood
last time showered: 6:43am
last shoes worn: Black loafer type thingers
last cd played: Ben Folds Live
last item bought: a sandwich at the Natural History Museum cafe
last annoyance: the Smithsonian class
last disappointment: no cookies on saturday
last soda drank: Sprite mixed with lemonade. I think maybe January 30.
last word spoken: Heya.
last sleep: last night
last individual message: ..?
last time amused: Always
last time in love: a while ago
last time hugged: Sunday
last time dancing: My cousin's wedding... maybe June 2002..?
last webpage visited: http://saschathebarbarian.blog-city.com/

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Kissed your cousin: no. ick.
2. Ran away: nope
3. Pictured your crush naked: nah. i don't think anyone should be naked.
5. Broken someone's heart: maybe a little, but i would share my cookies to make up for it.
6. Been in love: yah, sure... why not.
7. Cried when someone died: yes. a lot.
8. Wanted someone: yes
9. Broken a bone: not a one
11. Lied: all the time.
12. Cried in school: yes. (but not in well over a year... ;) )
15. Flowers or candy: candy!
21. Tall or Short: me-short, you-tall.
22. Pants or Shorts: pants.

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX:
23: What do you notice first: smile/eyes
24. Last person you slow danced with: some dude in Canada
25. Worst Question To Ask: Are you pregnant? (Or are you just fat?)

WHAT IS (your favorite):
29. Your Good Luck Charm: don't really have one
30. Person You Hate Most: don't have time to hate. i'm very busy.
31. Best Thing That Has Happened to You this year: got a raise!
32. Color: blue
33. Movie: Gatacca
35. Juice: Orange-cranberry
36. Finger: right-ring
37. Ice Cream: cookies 'n' cream
38. Shoes: clogs
39. Season: winter
40. Breakfast Food: eggs!

WHO :
43. Makes you laugh the most: BFF
44. Makes you smile: people who update their blogs
45. Can make you feel better no matter what: BFF
46. Has A Crush On You: No idea. Probably no one.
47. You Have A Crush On: Not so much
48. Has it easier: boys. definitely boys.

DO YOU EVER:
50. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: not so much
51. Save AOL conversations: sometimes
52. Save Emails: yes
53. Wish you were someone else: some days
54. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: every day

FAVES:
56. Cologne: don't know any
57. Perfume: don't know any... i use a fruity spray thinger, but it's not perfume. raspberry smelly.
58. Kiss: yes..? i don't get it.
59. Romantic memory: being fed cheesecake and strawberries while watching a movie... don't even remember the movie, but that was some good cheesecake.

HAVE YOU
61. Fallen for your best friend?: good lord no.
62. Made out with JUST a friend?: wouldn't make him *just* a friend, now would it?
63. Been rejected: of course
64. Been in love?: sure
65. Been in lust?: not so much. well, probably, but i don't/didn't think it was.
66. Used someone?: probably, but not malevolently
67. Been used: probably. actually, yes.
70. Been kissed?: yes
71. Done something you regret?: probably

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...`
72. You touched?: A coworker... shook hands
73. You talked to?: coworkers at lunch
74. You hugged?: my mommy
75. You instant messaged?: Nothing
77. You had sex with?: isn't there some kind of client-hooker confidentiality agreement or something?
78. You yelled at?: i don't remember
80. Who broke your heart?: i don't want to remember
81. Who told you they loved you? same

DO YOU
82. Color your hair? No.
83. Have tattoos?: nope
84. Have piercings below the waist?: ick. no.
85. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? nope
86. Own a webcam? yeah, i think somewhere
88. Ever get off the damn computer? not if i can help it.
89. Sprechen Sie Deutsch? not so much
90. Habla espanol? un poco
91. Quack?: quark

HAVE YOU/DO YOU/ARE YOU...

92. Stolen anything over $50? no.
94. Schizophrenic? not that i have been diagnosed as
95. Obsessive? sometimes
96. Compulsive? a little
98. Panic? not usually
99. Anxiety? yeah, sure
100. Depressed? of course
101. Suicidal? not anymore

yay

I voted! You should too. Well, only if you are an informed citizen. Otherwise, you should just have a cookie or something. :) -J.

Losing the will to blog...

create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide


discover your inner candy heart @ quiz me


Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!


You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and creativity, and usually are highly intelligent. Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Birthday!

Woo! Happy birthday Roy! Approaching the quarter century mark... :) -J.

Ok, so I didn't take this picture, but it was interesting... I have a picture from last week, but I've been too lazy to replace my batteries so I can download them from my camera. Will do it eventually...

elgooG

Doood... LOTD from BFF: elgooG

Weekend roundup

Friday - So, the highlight of my workday was at lunch. Over eating with some people when the receptionist comes rushing in and tells us to hurry and come look. Right outside one of the doors leading to the receptionist area (in our company's main lobby) was a condom. Later, I suggested she go look at the security tapes and track down who dropped it. Just for giggles, but I don't think she did. Oh well.

After work, off to the gym! It was excellent. The dude in the lane with me swam about the same pace as me and understood pool etiquette. When he was done swimming, he went to hit on the chick in the hot tub. So it all worked out for everyone. Then the next person who came to share my lane with me was a little older and he got winded after about half a lap. So, he wasn't bothersome either. It was great.

Left the gym and was off to the HOY for some chipotle. Mmm... tasty chipotle.

Saturday - I'm free! I'm free!! The last session of the painful Smithsonian training class was yesterday. I passed the final exam, got my schedule, and my shiny new badge. How exciting! :) After that, went over to the castle for some munchies and to hang out with the fam. Latest news: contemplating the purchase of a house in China. Went over to movie night. Breakfast at Tiffany's and the Breakfast Club. Lots of waffles made by TB and Jas made tasty cheese grits with his super-secret recipe. After movies, played some really bad Trivial Pursuit. It was the pop culture one, so I wasn't really playing any. Too hard for me. Well, maybe not hard... just not my kind of fun. Anyway, that was about it for the night. I headed out when they were all getting started with video games. So, that was my weekend so far. Working on my blanket now. :) -J.

Overheard...

Girl: You masturbate, right?
Boy: Yeah, like... a lot

Other doober

The speaker tonight was pretty good. She touched on some interesting stuff, but didn't go into too much technical detail. Theories and some pretty pictures... Time for sleep. Maybe it'll ice and I won't have to go to work tomorrow... Then I'll only have 3 days to make up. Ok. 'Nite all! :) -J.

doober

Ok, I'm going to be different... Stole this from Norm ages ago, but didn't get around to posting it until now--

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | scary movies
02 | naked people
03 | nocookieland
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | BFF
02 | TB
03 | Cookie Monster
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | Winter
02 | Pockets
03 | Cookies
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | Incompetence
02 | Stupid people
03 | Pants without pockets (no way to carry spare cookies)
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01 | String theory
02 | Structures... 4 classes later and I still don't get it
03 | People who don't like cookies
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | Monitor
02 | Globe
03 | Cookies
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | This
02 | Talking on IM
03 | Planning my next cookie heist
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | Write a book
02 | Go skydiving
03 | Invent something
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | Pretend to be nice to people
02 | Read books upsidedown
03 | Bake cookies
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | Quirky
02 | Chipper
03 | Drunk
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY LOOKS:
01 | Small
02 | Asian
03 | Girl
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | Hold my breath for more than a minute and a half
02 | Watch reality tv
03 | Quit cookies
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO
01 | Your conscience
02 | Thunderstorms
03 | Cookie Monster song
THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO *EVER*:
01 | Nails on a chalkboard
02 | Morning talk radio
03 | Ex-significant other's dating advice
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | Mmm... cookies
02 | Uhm, yeah...
03 | Doober
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | cookies
02 | cheesecake
03 | chipotle burritos
THREE THINGS I'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | Kickboxing
02 | Cloning/Genetic Engineering
03 | History
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | Thundercats
02 | GI Joe
03 | The Facts of Life
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO TO:
01 | Alaska
02 | Cape Canaveral to see a shuttle launching
03 | A cookie convention
THREE NAMES THAT YOU GO BY:
01 | Enjanerd
02 | Enjaninja
03 | Enjaborg
THREE NAMES OF PETS YOU HAVE OR HAD:
01 |
02 |
03 |
THREE ONLINE SITES YOU MOST FREQUENT:
01 | www.google.com
02 | www.dictionary.com
03 | all my friends blogs
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE OR HAD:
01 | enjanerd
02 | darwintuna
03 | chuckabeeb

New Anger-Powered Cars May Revolutionize The Way We Drive

The Onion | New Anger-Powered Cars May Revolutionize The Way We Drive: "The Chevrolet Tantrum, one of the new road-rage-fueled vehicles."

::..Which Evil Villain Bad Habit Are You?..::

Which Evil Villain Bad Habit are you?

The Woman With The Golden Sun*

Dear BS,

Wow. Where do we begin? Lets start at the top and keep abreast of things. First off, nipple jewelry? Are you insane? Well, clearly yes. But we won't go there. (By the way don't expect sweetness, EnjaDoc is the one with tact.) Stop trying to be so edgy and out there, because edgy is totally "mainstream" and blasé. Concentrate on learning to dance better.

Now on to your dilemma. Seems to me you were probably wearing a very cheaply made blouse with horrible stiching. Next time shop for quality of the fabric versus the shiny, dominatrixy-ness of the pleather. Thou shalt not wear pleather! Unless you're doing a risque adult film or riding a motorcycle, I'd stay away from something so tight and leathery that you've got to be snapped into it. If you do need a sexy look steer towards stretchy yet still roomy fabrics, that give you an air of class and fall gently over the body so as to accentuate your curves instead of suffocating you. If nothing else, silk always works wonders. I hear cashmere is always in too, if you want to start looking elegant.

Indecent exposure? Honey, with what you were probably wearing I'd slap a fashion fine on you so fast for the faux pas. Try saying that 3x fast! Fines aren't that big a deal when you've got the cash, but fashion mishaps are harder to recover from. Hide behind dark glasses for a few days tops. Then employ a good stylist who doesn't listen to your ideas of "fashion." Trust me on this one.

Bottom line, if you're not going to do any of the above, you can do one really simple thing to prevent problems in the future. Are you listening? You ready? This is million dollar advice here.

WEAR A *#%$@&*^ BRA!!!

Sincerely yours,
FashionDoc

(*007 anyone?)

alright, you jokers...

Dear EnjaDoc,

I seem to have a problem. I was dancing at what we could call a "party"* and all of a sudden, my dance partner reaches over to grab my shoulder but ends up grabbing my dress and ripping my top off. My left* breast was exposed for an entire crowd of people to see but I wasn't embarrassed because I had a great piercing of a moon* adorning my breast. I tried to explain it was simply an accident, but no one believes me. My friends and others don't like me anymore and I may be fined for indecent exposure, but I have no idea what I could have possibly done wrong. Is it just me, or are we living in a world of prudes? How can I prevent wardrobe malfunctions in the future? Do you have any suggestions?

-Braless in Seattle*

*names and details have been changed to protect the not so innocent

Dear BS,
You know I don't answer fashion questions. I'm going to refer your question to Fashiondoc.

-EnjaDoc

Capital Science Evenings 2003-2004

Capital Science Evenings 2003-2004: "Exploring the Universe in the New Millennium"

Tomorrow night. Come on nerds... who wants to go?

Gaaaahhhh

So my boss brings by this close to 2000 page document for me to read this morning... and tells me to make a copy of it. I mean, literally... 2 reams of paper, about the size of a phone book, bound with metal binding rod doobers. So you can't just feed it through the copier. You have to copy page by page. Are you kidding me?? Anyway, it was a good thing I put off doing that and worked on some other stuff in the meantime because he came back late in the afternoon to let me know he had an electronic copy of the document. *phew*

After work today, I went to an exec meeting for the engineering society that I'm a member of. I blame TLD for the length and repetitiveness of this meeting. He told me to go. I should've known better than to listen to him... Two and a half hours of my life I will never get back. Next time, I'm bringing cookies. And I'm not sharing. Well, unless they bring cookies too. Unlikely.

Oh and my poor photoblog... It has been so neglected... I started it a couple weeks ago, and already I'm slacking. See, I wanted to do something with my shiny new camera, so I thought I would take just one picture a day and upload it for the world to see. That way you can all share in my adventures. But today, I failed you, I failed myself, but most of all, I failed my precious... photoblog. Outside the building where our exec meeting was, there was a car accident today. I don't know if the person/people were hurt or not. I got there after the people had been removed from the scene. What was left, though, was a car with a smushed up front end and a traffic light lying across the street. But not just any old traffic light lying across the street. A still functioning traffic light. Now there's dedication. Light on, traffic light! :) -J.


Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

SPJ's stalkee

ESPN.com - NFL/PLAYOFFS03 - Super Bowl streaker leveled by linebacker: "New England linebacker Matt Chatham leveled the man, identified as Mark Francis Roberts, as he ran from security personnel. "

aww... how sweet...

First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing' ."

After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.

Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.

Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.

Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.

Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.

Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.

'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing.
Then he added a mouth. Ruined the whole [bleep]ing thing.

Fractal Day!

Hehe... I love google. I have to say that every time they put up a fun logo doober. Anyway, Happy birthday, Gaston Julia! :) -J.

Adventures at the gym...

Sunday: Go to gym. Swim. La la la... What a fun way to exercise!
Enter: Sketchy dude.

Hm... what will I do today? Maybe I'll get into one of the lap lanes and just hang out. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

I continue to swim.

Huh... she's not stopping. Maybe I'll swim into her. That's an effective plan.

*try to swim closer to the wall* Uhh, this guy either has really bad pool etiquette, or he's mentally deficient. He's playing chicken in the lane... *dive down to avoid creepy dude*

Hm... It didn't work. What now?

Maybe he doesn't understand... I'll explain to him how to share a lane. "Hey... sorry 'bout that. Are you lap swimming around clockwise or do you want to pick a side and we'll each stay on one side?"

"Where are you from?"

Excuse me? Swimming here. Did you forget the water and collision and stuff? "I'm from the area. I'll just swim on this side, and you can have that side, ok?"

Damn... she doesn't seem to want to talk to me. Maybe I'll try to catch her eye when she comes back around... or just stare at her for a while.

What is wrong with this guy?? He's camping out in the middle of the wall. I don't have enough space to turn around. Maybe I should accidentally kick him one of these times. That would be fun. Nah... then I'd have to touch him. Oh well.

She's not stopping on this side. Maybe I'll go hang out at the other end of the pool where she stops to rest.

What is he doing? He's just hanging out on my side now. I can't rest after I finish a lap!

"Tired?"

"Yeah... Just one lap left though." Hurry hurry... finish swimming and run away!

Gee, she seems kind of busy...

"Lane's all yours." *Runs away*

****

Leaving the gym:
In my car pulling up to the stop line. Notice a car turning toward me, cutting in really close, so I stop short to give him space to finish the turn. He slows down after turning, so I think he's going to wave thanks or something. Stupid me... I forget that he's pulling into the parking lot for my gym. He couldn't possibly be normal. "Hey baby, how's it going?" I didn't think people actually said that. But wrong again. I was just joking last week when I was telling my sis and eepie about the snow-plow man outside the A&S museum...

****

Creepy snow-plow man:
I walk toward the corner to cross the street, but there's a dude with one of the little digger machines that they use to remove snow. (yeah, yeah... don't make fun of my lack of vocabulary. You're lucky my blog doesn't consist completely of the word doober.) I wait for him to drive past, but he sees me waiting and waves me past. I wave and say thank you and then walk to the curb and wait for the walk signal to turn. Then I hear honking. Huh? Turn... The snow-plow man is honking at me... Am I in his way? No... he's just chillin'. He has plenty of room to drive past now... No no... He's gawking at me. As I described it to my sis, it wasn't a "You're-in-the-way" kind of honk; it was a "Hey, baby... how you doin'?" kind of honk.

****

New QOTD (JT's out): "I didn't recognize you without your clothes on." Dude... In case you failed to notice, I have clothes on.

****

Why I feel bad for pretty girls:
Ok, so I don't really, but I feel bad that boys are creeps sometimes. Well, some boys are creeps all the time, and others aren't usually. But overall, boys are creeps sometimes. I know it sounds like I'm being a whiny snob, "Oh boo hoo... all these boys are hitting on me." But really... "All these creeps are making inappropriate overtures toward me." I mean, I'm not even that pretty to begin with. I'm not getting all down on myself or anything. I can look girly or whatever if I try, but the dude in the car... I threw clothes on and left the gym. Didn't comb my hair or anything. I looked like I was raised by hyenas. He was just being crass for the sake of being crass. It had nothing to do with me. As with the other events I described, it had little to do with me and moreso to do with the fact that these guys were jerks. So, the whole feeling sorry for pretty girls thing, if these jerks are like that to me, I bet it happens a whole lot more to the pretty girls. For that, I feel bad for them. Whatever else they do to encourage them, I offer no sympathy. Whatever happened to, "Hi, my name is [insert name here]. Nice to meet you."? (Yes I know the question mark is on the wrong side of the quote, but I just couldn't bring myself to put it inside.) Jerks. -J.

Apologies for mentioning this on my blog...

QOTD (Saw it first on DBB): "I am sorry if anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the halftime performance at the Super Bowl. It was not intentional and was regrettable" -- JT

Sorry, did you mean the *pre-planned* wardrobe malfunction? Have you ever tried to rip leather? It doesn't just pull off like velcro unless, say... it's attached with velcro. Or maybe slip-stitches. That's what they use in props, right?

Lord of the nerds

LOTD from SPJ: LEGO CubeSolver

[insert name here], would you like to go to dinner with me Friday night?

Dear Enjadoc,

There is a girl who works at a local eating establishment that I would like to ask out. It seems inappropriate to accost her at her place of work though. What can I do?

Thanks,
Seeking in Reston

Dear SiR,

Ever seen a little movie called "Office Space?" Sounds like a slight dilemma, yes? There's a famous saying that goes something like this: "A gentleman is one who never makes a lady feel as if she isn't." I might be mucking that up but you should get the gist. If you feel it isn't appropriate to pursue her at her place of work, and there is no suitable way for you to obtain her number, then you should do the next best thing. I certainly don't mean go up to her and ask "Hey baby, are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day," because that would earn you a foul look or possibly a slap in the face. Give her *your* number. No pressure for her, if that is your goal. A truly noble one I might add, at the risk of sounding like "Miss Manners" today. Say something friendly like, "I'm not normally this forward. And I hate to bother you while you're working; it's just that you seem like a really nice person and I'd like to take you out for coffee some time. Here's my number. If you're free, give me a call." Or something like that. No pressure, no problem.

An alternate route, use a female 'wingman' to do it for you if you're unsure, but that's very 80s, pathetic, and straight-out-of-lame-movies. So take my advice, make her feel like she's special and don't pressure her. Even if you don't end up having the pleasure of her company, you'll come out a winner in the end for having been such a gentleman all around. And it'll make a great sob story one night at a bar when you are trying to attract a member of the female persuasion. Women seem to like men who need fixing from time to time, but you didn't hear that from me.

-EnjaDoc

um... yeah

LOTD: We like tha moon <-- Crit, this one's for you. It's crazy with a zing of wacky.

Nerd alert

Pretty creative for a geek... (found link in dave barry's page)

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